Your new name.com copywriter, or: Who you should blame if this blog is terrible

I’m Ethan. I’m the new name.com copywriter, which I guess means I’m the new overlord for this blog. I’m struggling to come up with a clever introductory paragraph for my introductory post (great first impression, huh?), so instead I’m just going to handle this like a Q&A.

Interviewing yourself? That’s a really lazy writing device.

It’s my first day. Lay off.

Fine, you get a one-blog grace period. What will you be doing at name.com?

I’ll manage this blog, update email templates, contribute to social media, and do a bunch of other stuff that requires good writering. And I’ll try not to screw anything up, though I’m sure to fail on that pledge by the end of the week.

What do you have planned for the blog?

It’s a work in progress, but I’ll post 4+ times a week, and it’ll be a healthy mix of tutorials, blogs about the name.com culture, news from the domain world, and anything else interesting enough to share with the world.

Why did you want to work at name.com?

The office looked cool. And the culture seemed to be delightfully weird. And the “We give a shit” mantra seemed to be sincere. So those were the main draws.

How did you end up here?

I was a sports reporter in Louisiana for a few years, and then moved to Colorado in Fall 2011. I managed content for a startup website for about 18 months before coming to name.com.

My old office is actually across the street. So name.com is a bit of a homewrecker.

Is it true that you spilled not one, but two glasses of beer when you came into name.com for a get-to-know-you happy hour?

Totally true. Though “spill” is a little misleading, I prefer “The glass slipped from my hand. Twice.”

What a lightweight.

I can neither confirm nor deny that accusation, but I think in this instance my general clumsiness was to blame.

And they still hired you?

I guess they find drunken behavior endearing, even if it does not involve actual drunkenness.

Do you remember the names of your new co-workers?

I remember like six and a half of them. It’s a start.

Can you at least remember to put the dishes in the sink?

I think so. My girlfriend was gone last weekend and I did the dishes on Friday night anyway. Being domesticated is THE WORST.

Let’s discuss your internet interests. Favorite website?

That’s between me and my incognito Chrome window. (Note to self: Ask for clarification on name.com’s internet use policy.)

Favorite Twitter feed?

@DadBoner, you guys.

Favorite YouTube video amongst the more popular of YouTube videos?

Charlie Bit Me has recently been supplanted by Goats Yelling Like Humans.

How to you pronounce GIF?

Soft G. Like the peanut butter. If you use a hard G you’re a bad person.

Favorite Tumblr?

Smokin’ Jay Cutler

Favorite meme?

Best GeoGuessr score?

Depends on whether Googling is permitted. I try to play without using Google, and then I always get dropped in the middle of the f***ing desert. I think I topped 15,000 once.

What do you look like?

Here’s the most flattering photo I could find of myself on Facebook.

And here’s the least flattering:

The reality is somewhere in between, usually leaning toward the “unflattering” side.

Anything else?

All self-deprecation aside, I’m super duper excited about being here, and I’ll try to make this blog as funny/interesting/informative/etc. as possible.