Mr. Jeff Besos has caused a straight-up frenzy on the internet by allowing cities in North America bid to be the next location for Amazon’s second headquarters. The bidding ended yesterday and let me tell you that most of these cities went above and beyond to get Besos’ attention. While each city surely put a great deal of time and consideration into their bids, there were definitely some attention-seeking antics that made my skin crawl.
So what’s the deal with Amazon HQ2? Well, it’s going to cost about $5 billion and supposedly employ about 50,000 people. The new headquarters will house an army of skilled, white-collar workers rumored to have an average salary of more than $100,000 per year. What is Amazon looking at when they make this decision? According to the financial services company Moody’s Analytics, there are five key factors to look at when selecting Amazon’s next home: business environment, human capital, cost, quality of life, and transportation.
Despite these important considerations, some cities tried to sweeten the deal and attract Amazon’s attention simply through attempts to stand out—for better or for worse. These are just a few examples of the cities that thought outside the box in an attempt to woo Amazon.
This small town located just outside of Atlanta offered to rename itself Amazon, Georgia. They also offered about 345 acres of land for the new campus.
While Amazon was open to accepting videos and other non-traditional mediums for bids, one thing they couldn’t accept was gifts—which thoroughly embarrassed Tucson, Arizona after they attempted to deliver a 21-foot cactus to their Seattle campus.
I’ve never met a person who doesn’t love free food. And, if you don’t love free food, please exit this blog—thanks. Anyway, Pittsburgh’s Primanti Bros. offered all future Amazon employees free sandwiches if the Pennsylvania city is chosen for HQ2.
Kansas City, Missouri
Kansas City when in for the big haul, literally. The mayor, Sly James, bought 1,000 products via AmazonPrime and then wrote 1,000 reviews all about how Kansas City, Missouri is the best place for HQ2. Now with a name like Sly James, I’m not one bit surprised by his slick rick reviews. #KC5stars
I bought 1,000 products for charity on Amazon and reviewed them all with a little KC love. Read all my reviews at kc5stars.com
Posted by Mayor Sly James on Wednesday, October 11, 2017
Little Rock, Arkansas
Of course, I saved the best for last. Little Rock, Arkansas. These guys went for some reverse psychology by asking Amazon not to pick them, but the video dialogue quickly veered to the typical breakup talk, “it’s not you, it’s me.” Total cheese.
Which city do I think will be chosen? Personally, I think it’ll be an east coast city so that Amazon can further control the country. Especially with their drone deliveries and their efforts to break out into the dining industry. I’m putting my money on Washington D.C. Here’s why: It makes the most sense for Amazon to own the west coast in Seattle and own the east coast in D.C. The mayor posted an adorable video of herself talking through the best reasons why Amazon should choose D.C.
And as mentioned by Forbes, Atlanta, Boston, Chicago, Dallas, New York, and Washington D.C. will likely be Amazon’s top candidates.
Now, I know you’re wondering if us Coloradans want Amazon HQ2 to swarm into our beautiful state. The answer is no. Absolutely not. We really like how things are here and bringing in a massive tech campus just does not gel with us. I mean, we’re just a bunch of dangerous hippies who live for mountain sports and organic deodorant.
But all jokes aside, it’s questionable if Denver (like many of the other potential HQ2 cities) has the infrastructure needed to support the influx of workers and their families that are sure to relocate to wherever Amazon may end up. With an already happening tech boom in Denver and Boulder, and a lack of affordable housing plaguing both cities, Amazon might just be the spark that kindles the city of Denver into flames if Colorado wins the bid.