New TLD, new dots, nTLDs – Whatever you call them, they’re about to seriously redefine the way we use the Internet, think up domain names, and navigate the Web. Which has us thinking a lot about the future – in ten years, will there be so many domain name options our heads will explode? Perhaps so.
In honor of the future new TLDs, coming very soon to a computer near you, we watched futuristic sci-fi movies all weekend, and although we’re no closer to actually being able to predict the future of the Internet, we’re sure these five predictions, based on the movies we’ve been watching, are dead-on. We’re pretty busy and important (we’re sure you can tell), so we’re hoping you’ll make these predictions happen. We even helped out with possible e-com ideas and related new TLD domain names you’ll be able to purchase soon. Thank us later, and don’t forget your Grey’s Sports Almanac!
Fax Machines in Yo’ Closet.
So you thought fax machines were out? Wrong. Back to the Future II, set in 2015, predicted fax machines in closets, and we think it’s crazy enough to work. Texts? So yesterday. Nothing says, “I love you” like a creepy, early morning fax straight to the very closet your new bf is currently browsing. Getting ready for work has never been so unsettling. Now that’s romance.
How to make it happen: Launch a kick-starter and an informative site, to raise venture capital.
Possible new TLD domain name: closetfax.win
Personal Tiny Crossbows and Fashionable Chain-mail Will Be Hot Next Fall.
So hot, in fact, that you’ll need to go pants-less and gel your hair up just to make it through the day without suffering heat exhaustion. The crossbow not only says, “I’m too cool for school,” it also provides easily transportable personal protection in the mean streets of whatever city you’re living in. You’ll be daring people to mug you with your iCrossbow Mini.
How to make it happen: Design it yourself and create a meme of you, dressed in your new chain-mail, holding a crossbow, posed like the famous Mad Max Tina Turner poster, with the words “You only need this hero." Start posting the meme everywhere. Then offer an e-shop to sell your ware. Profit.
Possible new TLD domain name: chainsandcrossbows.fashion
Eye Scanning Lie Detectors– Wait for it – On Your Android!
Blade Runner’s depiction of 2019 is not exactly what we’d like to see happen in the next six years. Crazy homicidal robots, darkness, dystopia, weird food? No thanks. But there is one thing we’ll take – the eye scanner lie detector. Totally useful for interviewing prospective employees, acing first dates, and raising honest children. A friend tells you a story you hardly believe? Whip out your lie detector eye scanner app, on your Android, and catch them in the act. You’ll be the most popular kid around.
How to make it happen: Design your lie detector app and come up with a crazy compilation of cat videos, in which one cat uses your app on another. Meow, that’s a genius marketing plan.
Possible new TLD domain name: catchaliar.app -- (CATchaliar.app, perhaps?)
Toilet Paper is for Losers. Use Seashells!
Let’s face it. There’s nothing green about using toilet paper. You’re literally wiping your ass with nature. Cut it out, already. Demolition Man’s version of 2032 was toilet paper-less. Be the envy of all your hipster friends by figuring out how to wipe with seashells. Once you figure it out, let us know. We tried this morning, and only clogged up our toilets and caused serious “tissue” damage. HEEEEEEYYYOOOO.
Make it happen: Spend countless hours in pain and misery and then figure this out. Or don’t, and just sell seashells in a box to hapless hipsters and sci-fi fans.
Possible new TLD domain name: seashellsfortp.expert
Gap Will Know What Tanktops You Like.
It’s not cool to shop at Gap. We’re not sure why, but we do know there’s a reason they leave their brand label off of the t-shirts – so you won’t have to tell anyone you shop there. If Minority Report is right, though, and we think it is, Gap not only knows you shop there, but will soon have virtual personal greeters who will shout your last purchase out to the mall world around you. Out with your friends, at the mall, casually chillin’? Better avoid Gap in 2054, because it will sell you out to all your homies.
Make it happen: Please don’t make this happen. In fact, do everything to make sure it doesn’t.
Possible New TLD domain name: notanktopsatgap.ninja
For more info about new TLDs, or to watch your favorites, check out our new TLD page.