CATEGORY: Humor

Selling sex isn’t as easy as it looks

We like to give our competition a hard time about selling sex and objectifying women. It’s kind of what they’re known for.

But sometimes we’re willing to climb off our high horse and succumb to the latest marketing trends. We’re willing to sell sex, too. Trouble is, we don’t have Danica Patrick or Bar Rafaeli on our side.

We just have this guy:

The community evangelist in his natural sexy habitat.

The community evangelist and aspiring sex symbol in his natural habitat.

That’s Jared Ewy, our community evangelist. He may not fit into YOUR definition of sexy, but at name.com we believe beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

In Jared’s words, “Sexy is so hot. It’s the flesh, the curves, round things. And nature. I think. Yeah, I think nature is sexy, but I’m not sure how you consummate that…”

I couldn’t have said it better myself. We think Jared can make sexy work. Armed with little more than a ball gag and self confidence, Jared gave this “selling sex” thing the old college try at a recent Demand Media meeting. You know, to test the waters.

As you can see, the reaction was less than favorable. It went over about as well as Jared’s recent venture into hipster culture. Maybe you do need a traditionally attractive woman, millions of dollars worth of Super Bowl airtime, and a complete lack of taste if you want to sell sex effectively. We only had one of the three.

So I guess we’ll just have to go back to focusing on providing our customers with world-class customer support. If nothing else, it’ll save Jared from some awkward conversations with the TSA.

The Best Super Bowl Commercials. We parody one that is not.

It was the ultimate Superbowl Sunday. The game was good (except for that awful missed call in the end zone) and we can all feel good that the losing Harbaugh brother can at least be happy for the other, winning Harbaugh brother. It was also nice to see some decent commercials. Companies paid upwards of $4 million bucks for their thirty-second ad, so you’d hope that they’d air something to remember. Right now, in kind of a loose top six, we have fond memories of:

Samsung’s Next Big Thingsuperbowl ad samsung

Budweiser’s Horse Love Ad

Space Babies from Kia

Amy Poehler for Best Buy

Tide’s Joe Montana Stain

And we’ll even admit that GoDaddy did a good job with their .CO “your big idea” commercial. We’ll share it with you as long as come to name.com to get that idea online. To be honest, it was a little bit weird for us to see them do something so…so not bad. We thrive on their bad ideas, so it was with a great amount of disgusted relief when we saw their #TheKiss ad featuring supermodel Bar Rafaeli, and ubiquitous geeky movie extra, Jesse Heiman. A nerd getting a kiss is a victory for all of us in the web industry, but to have it as wet and close as that one…well, we had to do a parody.

super bowl commercials

We got the whole company involved in a brain storm, and from an initial idea, @OwenBorseth, our VP of Awesome, said that the kissing “sounded like someone eating a cantaloupe.” And then Nick Salvadore, who was at home with his awesome wife, son and their new baby girl, chimed in to say the cantaloupe was the best idea.

So we went with that. And the Twitter went nuts.

godaddy kiss response

Oh, and this…

godaddy superbowl commercial

We heard from many, many more people who were happy to have an outlet about a Superbowl commercial gone awry. The shot didn’t need to be that close. It didn’t need all the sucking sounds. With a heaping amount of thanks to Stephen Donatelli and Patrick “P-Mo” Moroney  (@brandnamebob on Twitter) for being our “kissers,” we mobilized the entire office to take part in our parody of #TheKiss commercial.

So that happened and for about zero dollars. Although we did splurge on a 4-dollar melon at Whole foods.

Elevator Ghost Prank, Gangnam Style Christmas Lights, Kate Middleton Pregnant on trenD

This is the news you can use and how to use the news. Domain names abound for the biggest stories, including Kate Middleton’s pregnancy, the most frightening prank in history and Christmas lights gone Gangnam Style. Actually, I think a Gangnam Style Christmas would be a blast. You’d have horsey dancing during carols, dangerous boat rides, hot tubbing and random explosions. Also known as just another night with Lindsay Lohan. We have a brief bit on her too…

Rated R for Royalty

trenD
A show about what’s trending across the internets and the domain names that love them.
powered by name.com

Want to express yourself on these trending topics?
Buy some of the following domains and build your site today.

Available Domains:
Heirtothethrone.co*
$12.99

Heirtothethrone.us*
$3.99

Heirtothethrone.org*
$9.99 (or just 5.99 with purchase of any other extension.)

Heirtothethrone.info*
$3.99

Heirtothethrone.tv*
$10.99

complimentthis.co*
complimentthis.us*
complimentthis.tv*

Watch the videos referenced in this trenD:

Christmas Lights Gangnam Style (Original)
http://bit.ly/11v4hfG

Extremely Scary Ghost Elevator Prank in Brazil
http://bit.ly/TZG75l

Lindsay Lohan’s Changing Face – 25 years in 60 seconds
http://bit.ly/LNTpOe

*Available upon posting.

Customer Support The Movie. Name.com rolls out its Romantic Comedy trailer…

They’re palpable these feelings we have for one another. And mostly they’re positive. This time it’s love in the moving story of the courtship between two customer service superstars. You’ll be moved to tears, and comforted knowing that there’s room in our hearts for you the customer, as well as our coworkers.

This Holiday season–or ANY season–feel the love with name.com!

Our domain names, websites and web hosting are actually made with all natural love. We make this love locally and with world class customer support.

PSY Gangnam Style, Black Friday Prank, Fallon Rashida Jones Holiday Medley on trenD

It’s been busy around here. Cyber Monday has everyone running and giddy about being at a cool company that people actually like. None of us can imagine working somewhere we didn’t like. But ruminating about good and bad companies is not why we’re here today. We’re here to deliver our marriage of trends and domain names. Our first story is courtesy of Jimmy Fallon, a talented guy who, with Rashida Jones, blows up all your favorite top 40 songs into a holiday medley. We have a domain for that. Also, we have another run in with Gangnam Style and Psy, the Korean megastar who has dethroned Justin Bieber as the most viewed video on YouTube. Pudgy men everywhere rejoice. We also discuss Cyber Monday sales, and how ours is really, really big.

Rated PG for Pretend Gems

trenD
A show about what’s trending across the internets and the domain names that love them.
powered by name.com

Want to express yourself on these trending topics?
Buy some of the following domains and build your site today.

JIMMY FALLON & RASHIDA JONES PARODY ONE DIRECTION, GANGNAM STYLE & RIHANNA IN HOLIDAY MEDLEY
Watch the video here: http://youtu.be/r2aBtx4URYg

PSY – GANGNAM STYLE (강남스타일) M/V
Watch the video here: http://youtu.be/9bZkp7q19f0

BLACK FRIDAY EMPLOYEE PRANK
Watch the video here: http://youtu.be/vtNTgwzt7iY

BUY DOMAINS IN YOUR UNDERWEAR. WE SELL THEM IN OURS.
Watch the video here: http://youtu.be/yjA-LsVaYA8

Don’t miss the opportunity to claims on of these hot domains:
Christmasmusic.eu and .pl* Bestpranks.co*

*Available upon posting.

Hostess Bankrupt, Wii U Debut, Guy Fieri Bad Restaurant Review on trenD

Here again to marry trends and domains…

Will Hostess come out alive after mediation with the union? It really should do all it can to avoid dying off before…before a very important change in the law. See more in our latest trenD (the video below), along with Guy Fieri’s retort to a SCATHING review of his restaurant in New York City. We also talk about the new Nintendo Wii U. It’s getting good reviews, but it’s not the gaming console itself that we want to criticize…

Rated R for

trenD
A show about what’s trending across the internets and the domain names that love them.
powered by name.com

Had your fill of Hostess cakes?
Read more about the Hostess saga: http://nyti.ms/Wqt0B8

Love it or hate it, the underdogs on top.
Read more about Guy Fieri’s restaurant: http://wapo.st/RP3XTM

Are you buying the Wii U?
Tell us about it in the comments section

Don’t miss the opportunity to claims on of these hot domains:
dingdongs.co*
dingdongs.tv*

badrestaurants.us*
goodrestaurants.us*

gamerbuzz.co*

*Available upon posting.

Is this bad as in good or just bad as in bad?

When you’re out sick you don’t expect others to go way out of their way to pick up your slack. Sometimes they have to because, say, you’re a firefighter and that’s just what needs to get done. But what Sean did with our little show trenD (marrying domain names and trends) is definitely one of the more flattering things a coworker has done for me. Or is it? So what we do with trenD is have fun lampooning current events while tying them with available domain names. Here’s a more popular one for reference. Below is what Sean was able to do with still photos of me as I slumbered in a cloud of cough medicine.

I’m flattered in a freaked out sort of way. Thank you Sean, master of the motion picture.

Rated PG as in Pretty Geeky

trenD
A show about what’s trending across the internets and the domain names that love them.
powered by name.com

Want to express yourself on these trending topics?
Buy some of the following domains and build your site today.

Stay save and up to date on Hurricane Sandy
Weather.com has the latest information. Here’s some advice from a Storm Chaser http://on.wsj.com/S8xfv7
Buy this domain and talk about it: Stormchasing.tv*

Bob Ross was featured in Google Doodles today, here’s a remix video
http://bit.ly/SUQDgp
Bring some sense to this topic with this domain: Googledoodles.us*

Check out the Obama vs Trump Kombat and other videos in the series:
http://slate.me/PvSuVR
Okay pundits, you need to own this domain: Obamaversus.com*

*Available upon posting.

Kate Middleton, NFL Replacement Refs, SNL “Gangnam Style” vs “Call Me Maybe” on trenD

This is where Domain Names meet trends…

And oh man has it been ugly on the football field. The play has been decent, but it’s the refereeing that is causing much consternation. With the regular refs striking the new replacement refs (who should be much admired for their death-defying efforts) are struggling with the rules. We’re surprised nobody has been killed. Meanwhile, it’s pretty in France, where England’s naked princess has been pasted across the tabloids. And now what…sex scenes? That’s what they say, but a royal lawsuit has things tied up. Whatever…you go you young, wealthy royals. You know it’s gotta get old acting prim and proper all the time. Just ask Harry.

And finally, Saturday Night Live is back, and Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane does a fine job hosting…along with a new President Obama.

Rated R for Rosh Hashanah

trenD
A show about what’s trending across the internets and the domain names that love them.
powered by http://name.com

Want to express yourself on these trending topics?
Buy these domains and build your site @ name.com

Read about Kate Middleton legal battles and revealing photos:
http://nydn.us/UfBLYP

Then buy the domain:
breastassets.com

Read about Seth Macfarlane on the 38th season premiere of SNL:
http://bit.ly/Ufoyzq

Then buy the domain:
politicalhell.net

Like the Academy’s Gangnam Style paraody?
Watch it here: http://www.youtu.be/xhHufV9g4k4

Then Buy the domain:
funnystuff.in

Read more stories from the replacement refs of the NFL:
http://bit.ly/PmnIRw

Then search http://name.com for a domain to vent (it’s really easy and fun to do)

Celebrate Rosh Hashanah:
jewishholidays.co

Allison Pill, Kate Middleton, Britney Spears, iphone 5 on trenD

Domains and Trends in one! In this episode…

It’s something that really should be a major part of this year’s elections: Why is it so awful to see a naked breast? Princess Kate Middleton shed her royal garb and a French tabloid posted the pics. Now the palace is ticked and all the world in a fury. Why? It’s the Puritans isn’t it? Those skin-covering sin police who dressed beautiful natives in Big Dog t-shirts. Dang it. It’s wrong. And then there’s the iPhone 5. People say they are disappointed, but analysts say there should still be about 6,000,000 pre-orders.

Finally, the Innocence of Muslims is a really bad video that no one should get excited about.

Rated PG, for reals.

trenD
A show about what’s trending across the internets and the domain names that love them.
powered by http://name.com

Want to express yourself on these trending topics?
Buy these domains and build your site @ name.com

Read about Allison Pill and her topless photos:

http://www.hollywoodbackwash.com/newsroom-star-alison-pill-accidentally-tweets-a-topless-photo/

Read about Kate Middleton and her topless photos:
http://gawker.com/5943253/these-topless-photos-of-kate-middleton-put-us-at-two-for-three-on-royal-nudie-pic-scandals

Read about Britney Spears showing her curves on X-Factor

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2012/06/28/britney-spears-x-factor-dress_n_1633380.html

Then buy the domain:
breastassets.com (available as of 9/14/12)

Watch the iphone 5 reaction on Live with Jimmy Kimmel.

http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2409665,00.asp#
http://www.examiner.com/article/jimmy-kimmel-gives-l-a-residents-their-first-look-at-the-not-iphone-5

But then you have to buy:
phoneaccessories.co
rottenapples.biz

Haven’t heard about Innocence of Muslims?
Read about it here:
http://insidemovies.ew.com/2012/09/13/innocence-of-muslims-film-religion/

Then buy the domain and tell them to:
stopthemadness.tv