A few weeks back Radix announced that name.com was the winner of its “Polaroid a New TLD” contest. Our prize was a company outing on Radix’s behalf. We decided to spend an evening racing Go-Karts at Unser Racing in Denver, and it was awesome.
Unser Racing is no run-of-the-mill, take-a-few-leisurely-laps-around-the-track Go-Karting establishment. When you arrive at Unser Racing, you first go through a 10-minute safety training, and then you get outfitted for your race—helmet, head sock, racing suit, gloves, shoes, the works.
After getting into our racing gear, we headed to the track. It’s a quarter-mile course with plenty of S-curves and hairpins, and the carts can reach 35-40 mph.
Our night started with a pair of five-minute qualifying heats. There were 11 of us, and the top 10 (by lap time from either of the qualifying heats) advanced to a final 15-lap championship race. Jon Liu easily had the best lap in either heat and won pole position by a mile. Caroline Temple greatly improved her best lap time between Heats 1 and 2 and started in second place, followed by New TLD Nic. Ashley Forker had the slowest best lap in Heat 1, but became much less worse in Heat 2 and grabbed the final qualifying spot, leaving Jared Ewy as the odd man out (but he got to film the championship race and have a beer before anyone else, so he didn’t seem to mind much).
As for that championship race? Here are the results (our chosen “Racer names” are included):
1. Jon “Danger” Liu—Much, much better than everyone at everything ever.
2. Caroline “C-Line” Temple (+8.802)—Drives really fast, but not as fast as Jon Liu. Has not driven an actual car in about 2 years.
3. Nic “ICANN WIN” Steinbach (+10.565)—Was too busy thinking about Sunrise and Landrush to be concerned with moving into the Top 2.
4. John “DisRuppTion” Rupp (+18.886)—Would have earned one point if this was MarioKart 64.
5. Ethan “Blaine” Conley (+22.060)—battled Shannon Brown for 5th place, passing her on a yellow flag during Lap 11 because he’s colorblind and thought it was green and hahaha he swears he’s telling the truth hahaha seriously.
6. Shannon “Shamazon” Brown (+30.010)—If ya ain’t cheatin’ ya ain’t tryin’, Shannon.
7. Alex “DR. RACERBRO JR. III” Kehr (+1 Lap)—Wore a Mario costume but forgot to bring any banana peels, red shells, or lightning bolts.
8. Kristen “Kristandwich” Pierson (+1 Lap)—Was passed by Alex in Lap 12, but held off Ashley. Boldly proclaims, “At least I didn’t come in last.”
9. Ashley “AshleyTorque” Forker (+1 Lap)—Did not come anywhere close in matching Caroline in the “impressive driving prowess displayed by someone who does not actually drive” standings.
10. Kyle Robbins (+1 Lap)—Endured many crashes and spin outs.
DNQ. Jared “Godspeed Thunderclap” Ewy—Enjoyed a Stella Artois and a fantastic nickname.
After the race we were treated to barbecue, beer, and ice cream cake. We pretty much had the most fun ever. Thanks, Radix!